"Happily Ever After" Mentality

When I got married I had a “Happily Ever After” mentality. I had done nothing previous to my marriage to prepare, emotionally, physically, or mentally. I truly believed that my life would forever be full of bliss, joy, and laughter. I believed miracles of complete joy would be a constant experience and that there would never be a dark day. I will forever remember that first fight I had with my new husband.

 

I was devastated. How in the world, could two people who had just been sealed in the temple for ETERNITY, disagree? How could we possibly have enough misunderstanding to not see eye to eye? How was this happening?

This argument broke me. I immediately started to question everything regarding my marriage. Had I chosen the wrong man? Were we going to make it? What would people think when I got divorced? Do I love him? Does he love me? The darkness and fatigue that I felt over our first disagreement, when viewed five years later, seems ridiculous. But, when entering marriage with such a naïve perspective, being completely unprepared for any opposition, our small argument seemed like the end.

I wish that I had had access to John Gottman’s book “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” before I’d been married. I wish that someone had sat me down and given me the talk I needed to hear. Not one regarding sexual relations or how exciting this new chapter of my life was. I wish that someone would have recommended this book and explained how much work marriage requires. The heartache, frustration, joy, and cooperation that is experienced in new forms when married.

Although I’ve only just cracked open Mr. Gottman’s book I already feel as if I’ve been so enlightened and gained a new understanding of a relationship I cherish most. My marriage has been so full. My husband and I have waded through so many different trials and misunderstandings since that first argument. I admire him for so many different reasons and can honestly say I made the best choice in marrying him. As I continue to read this book I know that I will gain new insights, tips, and tricks into how to continue to enjoy my relationship with my husband. I know that there is still more joy and happiness to experience as well as trouble and trial. But as I arm myself with information and insights I gain a confidence in my relationship with my husband which will help me wade through the trouble.